NANOWRIMO - 12th time's the charm?

Here we are again on the eve of my twelfth NANOWRIMO. Will this be the year I hit the 50k word count mark and write the great all-American novel? Most likely not. Don't get me wrong, it would be great to accomplish what others have, but it's not why I keep coming back after eleven failed attempts. Perhaps, I'm a glutton for punishment or perhaps I want to see if I can best my previous attempts. 

Last week my son applied for a job at school. Now, he's a third grader so the job will have the appropriate amount of responsibility that is for the elementary school aspiring student leaders. Now, there were nine other kids in my son's class who also applied for the job in addition to kids from the other elementary grades. According to my son, only a few students from each class would be "hired". Armed with this information, my son took a job application and filled it out that day. Needless to say he was very excited about getting a shot at this job opportunity. To the application question asking why he was interested in the job he wrote "he wanted to meet new people, make new friends, and help the community." A very thoughtful response in my book. However, I did chat with my son about there being a possibility that with the amount of students applying he may not get the job, but that should not keep him from applying for other things in the future. I shared with him that his dad and I have not always gotten all the jobs we've applied for and actually when we moved back to Connecticut his dad had to apply three times to work at the company he at which he had previously worked before he finally got the job. After hearing that, my son asked a very important question which was "why do you keep trying after having failed so many times?" (Great question!) I told him that I use failure as a motivator instead of as a deterrent; I don't let it discourage me. I use those moments to fuel me as I seek to better myself, and acquire what I need to be a stronger candidate the next time. I told him if he really wants an opportunity then he'll just have to keep going after it. 

So that is what I do each November. I sign up to write a novel in thirty days. By their 50k word count standards I fail each year, but I choose to see it differently. I choose to define my success by writing more than I did last year and/or writing each day. If I do either or both of these things, it's a win and if by some crazy coincidence I also hit 50k (and write a bestselling novel), well, that's just an added bonus. Tomorrow I start NANOWRIMO again and I'll keep you posted on my success. 

Best Way To Spend A School Day

So as a Dean of Students, one can imagine that a portion of my job involves holding students accountable and discipline. However, that is a part of the job, but it's not the whole job. A large portion of my job is supporting and getting to know my students. So that's what I've doing. 

We are about halfway through the fall term and I have spending my days the best way I know how, chatting with students. These thirty minute conversations allow my student and I to get to know each other. I ask them about anything from their favorite types of music and tv shows to how a friend or sibling would describe them to me to what's in their high school bucket list to how can I best support them as their Dean this year. I always get slightly amused when they struggle with a question and say it's hard to which I reply "this can't be any harder than Calc BC or US History. Giggles aside, what may make the questions harder than their academic questions is that the answers must come from within and not from a book, teacher, or internet search. The conversation is not meant to be made of quick fire responses, but actually allows for them to not only answer the question, but they also end up sharing stories too. Some stories may be funny and some give me a glimpse into a hurdle or challenge they've endured.

After having them answer all my questions, it's only fair to give them an opportunity to ask me a question (or two) and the only criteria is that it be appropriate (that's a given) and not about my job as a Dean. Hands done the most posed question was what do I do for fun when I'm not being a dean.

With 187 juniors in my class this year, it is no easy task to carve out 30 minutes to meet, but you make time for what's important. I can't think of a better way to spend the first half of my term than getting to know the students I'll be supporting over the next two years. And on top of just talking, we laughed and understood them just a little be better than I did before. Priceless. We are all more than the information in a file, a score on a test, the story being told through the grapevine.

A Momcation is a Must!

When I was pregnant I entered into a momtract with my husband. Now, there was no document signed nor a binding handshake, but trust me when I say that we both know my annual momcation was a non-negotiable.

2010 AVP Tournament - Virginia Beach

 

So what is this curious momcation you ask? It is, as I have described to inquiring minds over the years, a vacation for where I leave my husband and son at home and my only responsibility is to myself. In short, it is the essential timeout. Now some may think - "how could you leave your child" or "you're being so selfish". Well, actually it is the best thing I can do for my family. My momcations gives me something to look forward to and allows me to recharge. There are always times in the year when things start building up and I'm a little more cranky and a little patient (we've all been there). That is what the Momcation combats and it gives me something to look forward to which in itself helps. My son was born in 2009 and I went on my first momcation the following year. Full disclosure, my first momcation couldn't have come at a better time. I was working full-time with a 15 month-old child who just starting sleeping through the night and I had just started my Masters program on top of it all. So, I would say a solo vacation was definitely necessary.

Montreal w/ longtime friend, Sarah in 2011

When considering where I will go for my momcation I consider places I've never been to or experiences on my bucket list. If I can combine it with seeing a good friend then that's an awesome bonus and keeping it budget-friendly is key. So where have my travels taken me...

2010 AVP Beach Volleyball Tournament in Virginia Beach
2011 Montreal, QC
2012 no-cation :(
2013 The Spa at Norwich Inn
2014 Narragansett, RI
2015 Washington DC for my 20th High School Reunion
2016 Hong Kong
2017 Dominican Republic/Brother's Wedding

And because I know you are wondering what happens when I don't go on a momcation. Well, that year I had to suspend the momcation due to us moving from Virginia to Connecticut and changing jobs, I got pneumonia which was just a not-so-friendly reminder of how important my momcation and self-care is to my health. At the heart of the momcation, is taking time for me to regroup, relax, and rejuvenate. If you want to call it a selfish act, you can, but it is also a selfless act. We all need to be a little selfish from time to time. We give so much of ourselves, our time, and more to others in our lives and do not always make ourselves a priority. My momcations are about making me a priority. So how can a momcation be both selfish and selfish? Well, like I said before when I come back from my vacation I am just plain better for not only myself, but also for my family, my friends, and my students.

Hong Kong w/ longtime friend Erika in 2016

 

So what do I have planned for Momcation 2018 in the year following me hitting the big 4-0? Well, that's yet to be determined. Perhaps a cooking vacation, a writing retreat, the Food and Wine Festival in Vegas, or.....you'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime, I recommend you start planning your own momcation. Trust me, your health (and your family) will thank you.

Relaxin' in Punta Cana, DR in 2017