Goodbye 2010s, Hello 2020!

During my 2009 to 2019 chapter, I ...

💥Began my wild parenthood ride without a map or instruction manual 

💥Started and finished my Masters degree

💥Lived in Virginia, Connecticut and Florida

💥Traveled to Mexico, Canada, South Africa, Hong Kong, Dominican Republic and knocked a few more states off my list

💥Presented at a conference 

💥Started a blog

💥Became a homeowner again

💥Braved various snow events and my almost first hurricane 

💥Watched my Virginia Cavaliers win a National Basketball Championship and saw them compete in the Orange Bowl

💥Journeyed from Assistant Dean of Students to Principal 

💥Suffered loss of family and of friendships

💥Have been disappointed, failed, stayed silent when I shouldn’t have and battled self doubt personally and professionally

💥Had wonderful moments of joy, enjoyed some successes, stood for something, spoke up for others, welcomed new friendships and deepened others, built community, and recognized my strength in hard times 

💥Have been brave, courageous and vulnerable 

💥Spoke my truth (on more than one occasion)

💥Have an even stronger sense of self, don’t let others define me, know that I add value to this world 

💥Loved, learned and laughed

Thanks for the memories and lessons. Here’s to whatever 2020 has in store!

"Thanks"giving 2019

When I was in high school we had assembly at which the students shared what they were grateful for, which ranged from a favorite TV show to a supportive faculty member to loved ones lost. Each year I continue that tradition by reflecting on the past year and sharing my thanks as a blog post. And with that, here is my "thanks"giving for 2019.

I am thankful for this year that's been full of transition and change. Change is not always easy, nor is being far from family and friends, but I am settling into my new home and new job. I know I will find and build community here too.

I am thankful for warm weather, palm trees and covered patios.

I am thankful for my husband and son who are on this adventure ride with me. They’ve been troopers as we embrace this new chapter together. I am so grateful for my husband who was willing to following my job change and handled most things during the transition (inc. cooking, school drop off/pick up, play date shuttling, etc.). I'm looking forward to us exploring our new home city and uncovering all the surprises it has in store for us.

I am thankful for these past ten years during which I have been able to see my son grow and come into his own. He’s curious, active, and, at times, funny. I love seeing him navigate all that has been thrown at him and his willing to try new things is inspiring. He’s a pretty cool kid and I’m grateful that he still likes hanging out with his mom.

I am thankful for my parents, brothers and sister. Thank you for putting up with me and for accepting me for me.  Thank you for all the memories, fun and stories over the years. I am so lucky to have been born into our formidable Anyaso crew with deep Rawles roots and influences.

I am thankful for my Aunt Shelly who I miss tremendously. So full of life, love and generosity. I am a better person for having had you in my life.

I am thankful for all the people who have believed in and taken a chance on me. I've been blessed with awesome mentors and colleagues along the way. Because of you I have had a very fulfilling educational and professional journey.

I am thankful for my students - past and present. I have learned so much from you over the years. It’s such a privilege to see you grow, face adversity, thrive and come into you own. You have not only helped me become a better educator, but also a better person. Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey.

I'm thankful for every experience that I have had to date - the small victories and the "ugh" failures (aka learning opportunities). Some were joyful, some were challenging and others were downright embarrassing. Regardless, I learned something from each and every one of them. They helped shape who I am today.

I am thankful for all my friends - past, present and future. Whether we are still in touch or not, I am grateful for you being a part of my life for a moment, a season or for a lifetime. Thank you for being there when I needed to talk, laugh, cry or just be. Also, big thanks to those of you (and your families) who took me in for a holiday. I appreciate you welcoming me into your homes.

I am thankful for those little things in life that make us happy and are good for the soul. So in that vein, I am thankful for English Breakfast tea, gummy bears, Hallmark and Lifetime holiday movies (especially the ones that make me shed a tear or two), books, volleyball, pizza, Maryland steamed blue crabs, logic puzzles, comfy clothes, the spa, momcations, going to the movies, and reading and snuggling with my little guy.

I am thankful for each day I have and for all the things I have yet to experience.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Starting a New Chapter

When you haven’t been new for a while, you almost forget what it feels like to be the new kid. You’ve been comfortable knowing your way around, understanding how things get done and the why behind it, and knowing people’s names. You had it down and even knew what to do when over the course of the year, but things have changed. You are back to being the newbie. What a nervously exciting time.

Starting over requires patience, mainly with oneself. You must take things one day at a time, ask lots of questions, and trust that you will begin to make sense of it all at some point. It’s also important to remember that no one expects you to know it all from the beginning, including mastering several hundred names. It just takes time.

So, this is what I am reminding myself as I enter the third week of school and the third month on the job. Being new is not easy. You miss knowing how things work, familiar routines, and familiar faces. You miss understanding the people around you. You don’t know what to expect because you haven’t lived a full year in your new surroundings or job, but it’s okay. Soon enough I’ll have experienced my first of many events and traditions rendering them no longer unknown entities to me.

While being new is not a cake walk, it is something I have done quite a bit in my life. I guess you could say that I am pretty comfortable being uncomfortable navigating new places, people, and situations. So, here’s to patience, time, a few missteps, and that moment when you realize you’re no longer the new kid (and can’t use that excuse anymore).

In memory of my fabulous Aunt Shelly

Time and time again we are all reminded about how important it is to tell those we love and who've been influential in lives just how much they mean to us because life is too short. This couldn't be more true. This past Friday, August 2, 2019 we lost the more beautiful soul as my Aunt Shelly was called home. Six years ago I partook in SoulPancake's experiment in gratitude by writing and sharing the those sentiments with someone who had been really influential in my life - my aunt. Below are the words I had the privilege of being able to share with my aunt at the time so she would know just how special she was to all of us. While I don't know a world without her and miss her already, I know she's up in heaven singing with the angels, cooking up a storm, and amplifying the love. Rest in peace Aunt Shelly. Thank you for all of your love and for living your life authentically and on your terms. Your life and legacy is a gift to us all.

Often when asked to write about someone who has influenced me, I write about my mother or speak about my parents’ impact on who I am. However, when I think about those individuals who have truly shaped the person I am today, I have to also think about my mom’s sister, my Aunt Shelly. My aunt is one of the most amazing, generous, strong people I know. What makes her amazing has nothing to do with a resume list of accomplishments. What makes Aunt Shelly amazing is her heart. She is ridiculously generous in every aspect of her life. 

 Growing up as a Foreign Service kid meant that after every country I lived in a sibling left to attend boarding high school in the States. So while I left the States at six years old, I returned to the States at 13 years old and was the third Anyaso sibling to do so. My aunt served as each of our guardians and actually she was more than a "guardian", she was our second mother. She did the move ins, move outs, took us on weekends, took us during every major school break, brought me to the hospital for my hernia surgery when I was 15 years old, and came to our schools anytime the school called, which was a lot for my older brother who kept making poor decisions while at boarding school. My favorite memories from high school have to do with the time I spent with aunt and the random, fun stuff we did. I also think about how my aunt, a single mother not only took care of her sister’s three children, but also served as the caretaker for my grandfather who was bedridden due to two strokes and a cousin who was bedridden due to Multiple Sclerosis. Aunt Shelly also took care of my grandmother before she passed away, took in my older cousin when they decided to move from New York to Baltimore and for a few weeks every summer she also had my younger brother who was back in the States for summer vacation. There was one summer when there were nine of us living in a very modest home and had the best time together.  

 Even now as my aunt waits on the organ donor list for a kidney, her spirits are high, love overflowing, and she is still the best cook around. I don’t think any of us have told her thank you enough or told her just how much she has influenced who we are. Often people are asked "what does success look like". For me, success looks like my Aunt Shelly – an amazing, generous, and kind woman who loves her family and who makes the lives of everyone around her better - and I truly hope that I can be half the woman that she is.

Endings...

Endings are weird. You’re excited and people want to make sure that you’re appropriately sad to move. You’re nostalgically sad as you prepare to move on and people want to make sure you’re excited.

You think back on moments from your tenure - the funny, the sad, the frustrating, the ridiculous, and the real. You think about all the lessons you learn from your wins, from your "that could have gone better" moments, and from your flops.

As I pack up my books and dust the shelves, I think about how particular readings helped me serve different students. As I take down my photos, quotes, and artifacts, the office becomes a little less mine as I get it ready for it’s next owner. As I throw away the papers and items that I held on to for too long and have’t referenced in a while, I remember that I don’t need to hold on to everything as I move on. It’s the lessons, laughter, memories, and the people that I carry with me. Every place I have lived and worked is a part of who I am and has shaped me.

The Last Chapel Talk of 2019

As some of you know, at the beginning of the school year my older brother had a medical emergency. He’s been fighting his life this whole year, but we're not sure how much longer he'll be with us so they are just trying to make him as comfortable as possible. Through this I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to be there for you in the way that I would want to be or that you would need me to be while dealing with this family situation and my own pain. From the beginning, I knew the year was going to be a long one. 

My one word for 2019 was believe. When I chose it, I was thinking about how I had needed to believe in myself and believe in whatever plan there was for my brother, but as we got further into the school year I knew it was also about believing in you, your ability to travel your W, and that everything happens for a reason. One of your classmates made a passing comment about why am I always given the, let’s say, complex classes. The truth is I believe I was meant to have you as my last Loomis class. There are so many stories in this room and many of you have dealt with your own personal challenges that were about so much more than grades and scores. I’m sure some of you think that you frustrate me and I’m not going to say that there weren’t any frustrating moments in our time together, because there were. There always are. However, what you should know is that more than anything, you inspired me. You’re fighters and survivors. I don’t claim to know all the ups, downs, wins, losses, and struggles you faced this year, but for the ones I do know I saw your strength as you navigated through it and put one foot in front of the other as you took it day by day. I saw you make lemonade out of lemons, laugh, shine, and keeping standing up. You were meant to be my last class so that I could see you tackle each day despite whatever was going on and then I could do the same. 

Last year I subjected you to my reading of the poem The Dash. There was line in the poem that said, “For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.” I hope this experience is one you can be proud of and not one in which you spent seeing as a means to an end. I hope what you did here mattered in big and little ways. So, embrace the end and this final week on the island. Enjoy closing up this chapter of your journey. I hope you will make the most of wherever you are off to next. Do not wish that time away and do not see it as just another box to check. Make sure you pause along the way to take it all in, enjoy and learn from it. I wish the best for each of you and hope that you will always strive to be the best you you can be. I hope that you will always take care of yourself - mind, body, and spirit. While I don’t know if our paths will cross again know that I’m out there rooting for you and that you can always reach out. I am so glad that we had this time together. It has been an honor and privilege to serve as your Dean. I love you. 

** final remarks to the Loomis Chaffee Class of 2019 at the last class meeting on May 17, 2019

                      Opening Dance Sept. 22, 2018             Graduation Day - May 26, 2019

Hello 2019!

While today is the official first day of the new year, I really see it as the transition day before the real kick off to the new year. Many of us return to work tomorrow and for the most part we'll all be jumping right back in.

So today we laze about, consider our goals for the year, and get ready to act on them tomorrow. Like everyone else, I have some goals in all the big categories - family/relationships, health, financial, professional development, personal development, and, of course, my yearly book goal (42 books in 2019). However, my inspiration to write this post is not about sharing my resolutions or presenting big, lofty goals. This is more of me keeping it real and speaking it into my new year. Bring on the 365 stories and opportunities that will fill the pages of my book.

So what do I want in 2019?

• To keep exploring and stay curious
• Embrace big and small adventures 
• Learn from the difficult  
• Try some new things 
• Fail (okay, truth be told I don't really want to fail or have things not go my way, but I can accept that it will happen more than once this year and there is growth in that)
• Know when to ask for help
• Love up on my family 
• Be there for my students
• Make time for what's important 
• Remember that silence is not always golden and we must speak up when it matters
• Spread the positive
• Be at peace with being an imperfect parent who's trying and leading with love. 
• Never lose sight of who I am 
• Strive to improve and grow every day
• Don't let anyone limit or define me
• Know that I am enough
• Slay

And to wholeheartedly embrace my one word for 2019 in all aspects of my life.