So as I wrap up another Parents Weekend, I think of all the ones I have experienced as a student and as an administrator. How I experience Parents Weekend today is somewhat influenced by my experiences as a student. It was pretty much a foregone conclusion that I would be going to boarding school at some point during my parents' time overseas and when we reached Niamey, Niger with an American International School that only went up to 9th grade, it pretty much sealed the deal. With two older siblings who also went off to boarding school, I embraced the opportunity and was mentally prepared to be that far away from my parents at thirteen years old. I will admit that over the course of those four years I was never a student that had to deal with homesickness or anything of that nature. What I will also say is that while I didn't experience homesickness, Parents Weekend was the one time of the year that it got a bit tough. It was hard to see most students walking around with a family member who got a chance to experience their student's classes, extracurriculars, and friends. My parents never sat through my Geometry, US History, or Creative writing classes. My parents didn't meet my advisors or ever see me play any of my three sports. They didn't even really get to meet my friends whom they had heard so much about until my graduation or even later. The thing was that I knew this going in and was able to manage it for the most part, but during each Parents Weekend there were those times when I wished that my parents could just see a glimpse of my life at school.
All these years later, as an educator I remember that feeling and can imagine that there are students on my campus who get those same pangs during Parents Weekend. While I can't take away that wish of having their parents in the classroom or on the sidelines, I can step in every now and then. So that is what I do. I try to pay attention and make note of those students in my grade or my advisees whose parents aren't able to make it and I adopt them for a class period. It's not something I discuss with them ahead of time. I just show up for them so I can see them in action in the classroom. I've been able to attend some dance, french, calculus, science, and history classes. It's actually really fun for me (well, calling attending calculus fun is a bit of a reach for me). I get to attend a few classes, see the student in action, see my colleagues in action, and I get out of the office. Of course, at the heart of it is that if the student can have once less pang in their day then it's a good thing. Throughout my high school and college careers, I had a few of my friends' parents who cheered me on at games, had me over for Easter Dinner, took me in during a snow storm, helped me on my way to my Aunt's in Baltimore on major breaks, and even facilitated a college visit to Atlanta so I could make an educated decision. My parents may have been far away, but I had a lot of families who made sure I was cared for. So if I can do a fraction of that for a student throughout the course of the year, including on Parents Weekend, then I have succeeded in paying that care forward. And to those families who were there for me when my parents weren't able to be, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sunday, October 23, 2016
Monday, October 17, 2016
Election Talk with a 7 year old...
"Mommy, someone said that if you are born in Virginia you have to vote for Trump."
Well, there's a way to start a car ride. I picked my son up from aftercare and here's what he threw at me. The interesting thing is that my husband and I haven't been talking about the election with our son. That was not necessarily a conscious decision, it just so happened that he's asleep by the time my husband gets home at night and when the debates conclude. With that said, apparently my son is paying more attention than I thought (proud mommy). So back to our conversation....
"Well, sweetie. That is not true. Anyone who is an American citizen and who is 18 can vote for whomever they want, no matter where they were born. So have you all been talking about the election in school?"
"Yeah, some. I want Hilary Clinton to win."
"Why is that?"
"Well, Trump has said some not nice things. He said that women are not good for anything but housework."
(working mommy pause) "Well, I could see how that would stick out to you as you have a mother who works, but also because you know there are no household jobs that are mommy or daddy jobs. To be honest, your father does more of the cleaning (and is better at it). We both cook and we both take you to your various activities or events."
This conversation continued like this for a while as my son shared his curiosities about the election, when he can run for office, how many elections he's been around for, etc. It was really interesting to listen to him on this matter considering this was the first conversation we were having on the subject. It was also interesting his perspective of how the election was playing out along racial lines in his school. As a "multicolored" (his words, not mine) child and one of 5 or 6 students of color out of 30 in his class, he shared his impression that all his white classmates were voting for Trump. Now to be fair, I don't think he asked every single one of the 24-25 other students in his class who they were voting for. Since I am not one for generalizing and attributing the opinion of a few to a while group, I thought it was important for him to understand that just like people from Virginia can vote for whoever they want, the same is true for other groups. I explained to him that not all whites are voting for Trump, just like not all women are voting for Clinton and that people will decide who they want to vote for based on whose ideas, platforms, plans, and values are aligned with their own. While that may have been slightly over his head, I think what I see in the future (for local elections or for Presidential election 2020) is us spending time together looking at where candidates land on various issues and having my son make his own decision of who his candidate would be.
While I wasn't expecting an election focused car ride home (even though this is not the first time he's thrown me a deep conversation curve ball), I was definitely impressed by my son's interest in the subject, his questions, and even his consideration that perhaps he'll run for some office at some point in his life (student council, local government, or perhaps, even the Oval Office). The other lesson here is that even if you are not talking to your child about what's going on, someone is so never underestimate what they are aware of and influenced by.
Well, there's a way to start a car ride. I picked my son up from aftercare and here's what he threw at me. The interesting thing is that my husband and I haven't been talking about the election with our son. That was not necessarily a conscious decision, it just so happened that he's asleep by the time my husband gets home at night and when the debates conclude. With that said, apparently my son is paying more attention than I thought (proud mommy). So back to our conversation....
"Well, sweetie. That is not true. Anyone who is an American citizen and who is 18 can vote for whomever they want, no matter where they were born. So have you all been talking about the election in school?"
"Yeah, some. I want Hilary Clinton to win."
"Why is that?"
"Well, Trump has said some not nice things. He said that women are not good for anything but housework."
(working mommy pause) "Well, I could see how that would stick out to you as you have a mother who works, but also because you know there are no household jobs that are mommy or daddy jobs. To be honest, your father does more of the cleaning (and is better at it). We both cook and we both take you to your various activities or events."
This conversation continued like this for a while as my son shared his curiosities about the election, when he can run for office, how many elections he's been around for, etc. It was really interesting to listen to him on this matter considering this was the first conversation we were having on the subject. It was also interesting his perspective of how the election was playing out along racial lines in his school. As a "multicolored" (his words, not mine) child and one of 5 or 6 students of color out of 30 in his class, he shared his impression that all his white classmates were voting for Trump. Now to be fair, I don't think he asked every single one of the 24-25 other students in his class who they were voting for. Since I am not one for generalizing and attributing the opinion of a few to a while group, I thought it was important for him to understand that just like people from Virginia can vote for whoever they want, the same is true for other groups. I explained to him that not all whites are voting for Trump, just like not all women are voting for Clinton and that people will decide who they want to vote for based on whose ideas, platforms, plans, and values are aligned with their own. While that may have been slightly over his head, I think what I see in the future (for local elections or for Presidential election 2020) is us spending time together looking at where candidates land on various issues and having my son make his own decision of who his candidate would be.
While I wasn't expecting an election focused car ride home (even though this is not the first time he's thrown me a deep conversation curve ball), I was definitely impressed by my son's interest in the subject, his questions, and even his consideration that perhaps he'll run for some office at some point in his life (student council, local government, or perhaps, even the Oval Office). The other lesson here is that even if you are not talking to your child about what's going on, someone is so never underestimate what they are aware of and influenced by.
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
What a Difference a Decade makes!
This past weekend my husband and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. Anniversaries are a great time to reflect on where you've been, where you're going, and the adventures that life has taken you on. Within a month of getting married there was a move from Connecticut to Northern Virginia, a career change, an an attempt to sell our house during an awful housing market (we still have that house). I embraced being back "home" in the DMV and Wyatt tried to adapt to beltway traffic (that never happened). He moved from working at a network he grow up with to an unfamiliar network environment that grew him in new ways. I found a home in education which while I never saw it coming, I get the feeling that there are many others out there who were not surprised.
Our ten years together also produced our little bundle of joy and of boundless energy. While I am not sure that I have forgiven Pierce for not sleeping through the night for a year (his time will come...like early calls from home every Sunday of his freshman year of college), he is definitely our heart. It has not been easy (as you know from earlier posts), but parenthood cannot be all figured out by a manual. It must be lived and experienced. It gets messy and you don't always get it right. It is definitely not a perfect as the well-behaved children and well-rested parents you see in photos online and on social media. Yet, regardless of the challenges and curve balls, the laughs and snuggles are the best. I admit that I may still need to exercise more parental patience, but there are some many times when I am in truly awe of his perceptiveness and curious mind. So in a decade I have grown as a person, as a parent and as an educator. Each role makes me better at the others. Funny how that works.
Who know what's the next decade will hold for us. We both have some hopes, dreams and aspirations many of which are life focused, not just career focused. However, for now we will take it day by day while living in and enjoying the moment keeping them filled with lots of love, laughter, friendship, and strength (when needed).
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