It's been a year. It's been a year since the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville.
What I have seen in the past year is a schoolmate of mine killed at the hands of hate and I've seen an uptick in incidents of people of color being told they do not belong. Incident after incident of black people having the police called on them while they are just trying to live their lives. Each call says "nope, you can't do that."
Nope, you can't sell lemonade.
Nope, you can't campaign for reelection.
Nope, you can't use this pool.
Nope, you can't go into your house.
Nope, you can't mow the lawn.
Nope, you can't sit and wait in Starbucks.
Nope, you can't barbecue in the park.
Nope, you can't stand in the doorway when it's raining.
Nope, you can't eat lunch at your school.
Nope, you can't take a nap in your dorm common room.
Nope, no footlong for you.
Nope, you can't look at the house you invested in and want to flip.
Nope, you can't buy candy.
Nope. Nope. Nope. It's exhausting.
It's easy to watch these incidents from a distance and shake your head in disappointment and sadness. However, they are not at a distance. This has happened to people I know while they were canvassing door-to-door in their district and while at the country club where they're a member. So when you are black like me you wonder, am I next?
This is what I carry with me as I go into each day. This is what many people from marginalized backgrounds carry with them each day. This is what some of my students will be carrying with them as they return for a new school year and as we all just try to exist in this world. It can be quite heavy to carry this load day in and day out. These instances of the police being called on black people trying to live their lives is like having the message "you don't belong here" being screamed at you over and over again. It's also a loud reminder that people do see color and have been reacting accordingly.
Being black should not be a crime and my existence should not make someone nervous or suspicious. I spend a lot in time in spaces where I am one of a few or the only person of color in a room at any given time and yet, I keep showing up, bringing my whole self, and speaking my truths. So I ask those of you in the majority to also show up and speak out. I ask you to educate yourself (there is a lot out there you can read and watch). Engage in important and, possibly, difficult conversations. Put yourself in situations where you are one of few or the only so you get a glimpse of what a person of color may experience on a daily basis. If you have friends, colleagues, and, perhaps even, family members of color, have you checked in on them? How are they doing? Do you talk with them about their lives experiences and really listen. Now, while race and being marginalized does have to be the only thing you talk to them about, but you should also not avoid the conversations because it may be hard or uncomfortable for you. Read books by authors of color and books that feature characters of color. Do the work. If you have children, don't think they're too young to have conversations about race and please, make sure that their books represent diverse voices. Teach your children to speak up when they see or hear discrimination, exclusion, and injustice in action; I also ask you to do the same. Be a true ally - not just in name, but in action.
Brené Brown says that "fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else, belonging is being accepted for who you are."
I don't aspire to fit in because I am me and I am fabulous as I am. So if someone looks at me and questions my presence somewhere, let me make it simple for them .... I belong. I belong. I belong. And if that's a problem for them, perhaps they should leave. I'm not going anywhere. This is my home too.
