Our New Normal

This global health crisis we are all watching unfold still feels a bit surreal. Friends and family in different states and in different countries spending day in and day out at home. This is not a reality I ever wanted to see or experience, but here we are. I find myself having to shut off the news so that I’m not inundated with the everything. For the most part, I am doing the best I can to navigate the day with work and my son’s homeschooling (he’s been a real trooper so far; we’ll see how we do when the cabin fever really sets in). Every now and then moments of worry wash over me. I know I’m not alone in this. Right now, everyone is worried about someone’s health, job or livelihood. I’ve had friends laid off and those whose businesses have suffered a big hit. I have family members in the health care field. My parents are of a vulnerable age and my eldest brother is in a hospice. Then there are the students, families and colleagues who are navigating all of this too. It can become a lot if we don’t temper our information intake, compartmentalize when necessary, practice self-care and identify the positives within our days.

It’s times like these when you have find the good and there is a lot out there. Examples of kindness and generosity between neighbors or strangers. We’ve seen virtual dance parties, workouts and performance. We’ve seen people rally to create birthday caravans for a child whose birthday party had to be canceled. We’ve seen the selflessness of our health care professionals who are on the front lines. We’ve also seen the true dedication of educators committed to educating and caring for their students. This is community.

Moving to a new city far away from family and friends has made this time a bit more difficult since I’m still trying to build community and find my people. Luckily, I’ve moved enough in my life to that that just takes time (lessons learned from the foreign service brat life). However, in these few short (but long feeling) weeks of social distancing, I’ve done some reframing. We’ve been asked to keep our physical distance, but social connection is still important. Thank goodness for phones, Face Time and other technology. I’ve been able to Zoom chat with nine of my college friends at the same time, FaceTime with a longtime friend in the northeast, and What’s App video chat with two friends - one in Haiti and one in Canada; the last time the three of us were together was in Port Au Prince in seventh grade. People come together in times of hardship and uncertainty.

This time is also for familial connection and introspection. In the past week and change, I’ve dusted off my journal, started a puzzle, read, gotten out my adult coloring book and taken walks with my son. The online home workouts have been fun and served as PE in my son’s school schedule (Thanks Planet Fitness and Yoga with Adrienne). They also reminded just how out of shape I am. I’ve tuned in to a couple of IG dance parties (shout out to DJ D-Nice and DJ Quiana Parks), danced with the real Debbie Allen, and evening popped in to do an evening mediation led by an alum of my high school. People’s generosity of spirit and time has been inspiring. As we navigate our ways through this, I hope that the positives of each day and the kindness we extend to each other continues. May you be well and stay healthy. We are all in this together and if you need/want to chat I’m just a phone call or video chat away.  The way through is by leaning on each other, finding bright spots in each day, staying connected (while physically distant) and by not being too hard on ourselves. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. We will all have those moments. Just remember to look for the good and make time to laugh.

Finally, a friend me sent this image that has also been circulating around social media recently. While I often take these things with a grain of salt, I figure why not engage. In taking a quick moment to scan for the first three words, it apparently revealed what I'll need for the upcoming weeks: Gratitude. Connection. Strength. 

#OneWord 2020

When I started this year’s #oneword process, I brainstormed until I found myself stuck between three words. With this being my fourth year speaking my #oneword into the universe, I thought it would be much easier to figure out my word. It wasn’t. At one point, I considered going with three words instead one. My past words have been:

2017 Patience

2018 Encourage

2019 Believe

As I kept reflecting on my three words - Joy. Lift. Moments - I realized that they were all connected. With the whole of 2020 and 365 days of possibilities ahead of me, my #oneword is MOMENTS.

In the year ahead, I want to experience lots of moments of joy on my own, with my family, alongside friends, and at work. I also want to help create moments of joy for others and hope to have some created for me. More experiences, more memories and more appreciation of the small or simpler things. 

In the year ahead, I want to make sure that I not only focus on the ways in which I need to invest in myself (mind, body and spirit), but also focus on the ways in which I can invest in and I can lift up others. I want to be intentional about lifting others’ spirits, lifting their confidence, and lifting and supporting others on their professional journeys.

So my year is not about resolutions, it’s about moments. Perhaps those moments will be time spent nurturing friendships, hanging out with family, performing acts of kindness, working with a leadership coach, submitting a conference workshop proposal or two, volunteering, walking more in the sunshine, reading on the beach, learning how to do something new, connecting, laughing and living my best 2020. So, here’s to all the MOMENTS ahead. 

Goodbye 2010s, Hello 2020!

During my 2009 to 2019 chapter, I ...

💥Began my wild parenthood ride without a map or instruction manual 

💥Started and finished my Masters degree

💥Lived in Virginia, Connecticut and Florida

💥Traveled to Mexico, Canada, South Africa, Hong Kong, Dominican Republic and knocked a few more states off my list

💥Presented at a conference 

💥Started a blog

💥Became a homeowner again

💥Braved various snow events and my almost first hurricane 

💥Watched my Virginia Cavaliers win a National Basketball Championship and saw them compete in the Orange Bowl

💥Journeyed from Assistant Dean of Students to Principal 

💥Suffered loss of family and of friendships

💥Have been disappointed, failed, stayed silent when I shouldn’t have and battled self doubt personally and professionally

💥Had wonderful moments of joy, enjoyed some successes, stood for something, spoke up for others, welcomed new friendships and deepened others, built community, and recognized my strength in hard times 

💥Have been brave, courageous and vulnerable 

💥Spoke my truth (on more than one occasion)

💥Have an even stronger sense of self, don’t let others define me, know that I add value to this world 

💥Loved, learned and laughed

Thanks for the memories and lessons. Here’s to whatever 2020 has in store!

"Thanks"giving 2019

When I was in high school we had assembly at which the students shared what they were grateful for, which ranged from a favorite TV show to a supportive faculty member to loved ones lost. Each year I continue that tradition by reflecting on the past year and sharing my thanks as a blog post. And with that, here is my "thanks"giving for 2019.

I am thankful for this year that's been full of transition and change. Change is not always easy, nor is being far from family and friends, but I am settling into my new home and new job. I know I will find and build community here too.

I am thankful for warm weather, palm trees and covered patios.

I am thankful for my husband and son who are on this adventure ride with me. They’ve been troopers as we embrace this new chapter together. I am so grateful for my husband who was willing to following my job change and handled most things during the transition (inc. cooking, school drop off/pick up, play date shuttling, etc.). I'm looking forward to us exploring our new home city and uncovering all the surprises it has in store for us.

I am thankful for these past ten years during which I have been able to see my son grow and come into his own. He’s curious, active, and, at times, funny. I love seeing him navigate all that has been thrown at him and his willing to try new things is inspiring. He’s a pretty cool kid and I’m grateful that he still likes hanging out with his mom.

I am thankful for my parents, brothers and sister. Thank you for putting up with me and for accepting me for me.  Thank you for all the memories, fun and stories over the years. I am so lucky to have been born into our formidable Anyaso crew with deep Rawles roots and influences.

I am thankful for my Aunt Shelly who I miss tremendously. So full of life, love and generosity. I am a better person for having had you in my life.

I am thankful for all the people who have believed in and taken a chance on me. I've been blessed with awesome mentors and colleagues along the way. Because of you I have had a very fulfilling educational and professional journey.

I am thankful for my students - past and present. I have learned so much from you over the years. It’s such a privilege to see you grow, face adversity, thrive and come into you own. You have not only helped me become a better educator, but also a better person. Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey.

I'm thankful for every experience that I have had to date - the small victories and the "ugh" failures (aka learning opportunities). Some were joyful, some were challenging and others were downright embarrassing. Regardless, I learned something from each and every one of them. They helped shape who I am today.

I am thankful for all my friends - past, present and future. Whether we are still in touch or not, I am grateful for you being a part of my life for a moment, a season or for a lifetime. Thank you for being there when I needed to talk, laugh, cry or just be. Also, big thanks to those of you (and your families) who took me in for a holiday. I appreciate you welcoming me into your homes.

I am thankful for those little things in life that make us happy and are good for the soul. So in that vein, I am thankful for English Breakfast tea, gummy bears, Hallmark and Lifetime holiday movies (especially the ones that make me shed a tear or two), books, volleyball, pizza, Maryland steamed blue crabs, logic puzzles, comfy clothes, the spa, momcations, going to the movies, and reading and snuggling with my little guy.

I am thankful for each day I have and for all the things I have yet to experience.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Starting a New Chapter

When you haven’t been new for a while, you almost forget what it feels like to be the new kid. You’ve been comfortable knowing your way around, understanding how things get done and the why behind it, and knowing people’s names. You had it down and even knew what to do when over the course of the year, but things have changed. You are back to being the newbie. What a nervously exciting time.

Starting over requires patience, mainly with oneself. You must take things one day at a time, ask lots of questions, and trust that you will begin to make sense of it all at some point. It’s also important to remember that no one expects you to know it all from the beginning, including mastering several hundred names. It just takes time.

So, this is what I am reminding myself as I enter the third week of school and the third month on the job. Being new is not easy. You miss knowing how things work, familiar routines, and familiar faces. You miss understanding the people around you. You don’t know what to expect because you haven’t lived a full year in your new surroundings or job, but it’s okay. Soon enough I’ll have experienced my first of many events and traditions rendering them no longer unknown entities to me.

While being new is not a cake walk, it is something I have done quite a bit in my life. I guess you could say that I am pretty comfortable being uncomfortable navigating new places, people, and situations. So, here’s to patience, time, a few missteps, and that moment when you realize you’re no longer the new kid (and can’t use that excuse anymore).

In memory of my fabulous Aunt Shelly

Time and time again we are all reminded about how important it is to tell those we love and who've been influential in lives just how much they mean to us because life is too short. This couldn't be more true. This past Friday, August 2, 2019 we lost the more beautiful soul as my Aunt Shelly was called home. Six years ago I partook in SoulPancake's experiment in gratitude by writing and sharing the those sentiments with someone who had been really influential in my life - my aunt. Below are the words I had the privilege of being able to share with my aunt at the time so she would know just how special she was to all of us. While I don't know a world without her and miss her already, I know she's up in heaven singing with the angels, cooking up a storm, and amplifying the love. Rest in peace Aunt Shelly. Thank you for all of your love and for living your life authentically and on your terms. Your life and legacy is a gift to us all.

Often when asked to write about someone who has influenced me, I write about my mother or speak about my parents’ impact on who I am. However, when I think about those individuals who have truly shaped the person I am today, I have to also think about my mom’s sister, my Aunt Shelly. My aunt is one of the most amazing, generous, strong people I know. What makes her amazing has nothing to do with a resume list of accomplishments. What makes Aunt Shelly amazing is her heart. She is ridiculously generous in every aspect of her life. 

 Growing up as a Foreign Service kid meant that after every country I lived in a sibling left to attend boarding high school in the States. So while I left the States at six years old, I returned to the States at 13 years old and was the third Anyaso sibling to do so. My aunt served as each of our guardians and actually she was more than a "guardian", she was our second mother. She did the move ins, move outs, took us on weekends, took us during every major school break, brought me to the hospital for my hernia surgery when I was 15 years old, and came to our schools anytime the school called, which was a lot for my older brother who kept making poor decisions while at boarding school. My favorite memories from high school have to do with the time I spent with aunt and the random, fun stuff we did. I also think about how my aunt, a single mother not only took care of her sister’s three children, but also served as the caretaker for my grandfather who was bedridden due to two strokes and a cousin who was bedridden due to Multiple Sclerosis. Aunt Shelly also took care of my grandmother before she passed away, took in my older cousin when they decided to move from New York to Baltimore and for a few weeks every summer she also had my younger brother who was back in the States for summer vacation. There was one summer when there were nine of us living in a very modest home and had the best time together.  

 Even now as my aunt waits on the organ donor list for a kidney, her spirits are high, love overflowing, and she is still the best cook around. I don’t think any of us have told her thank you enough or told her just how much she has influenced who we are. Often people are asked "what does success look like". For me, success looks like my Aunt Shelly – an amazing, generous, and kind woman who loves her family and who makes the lives of everyone around her better - and I truly hope that I can be half the woman that she is.

Endings...

Endings are weird. You’re excited and people want to make sure that you’re appropriately sad to move. You’re nostalgically sad as you prepare to move on and people want to make sure you’re excited.

You think back on moments from your tenure - the funny, the sad, the frustrating, the ridiculous, and the real. You think about all the lessons you learn from your wins, from your "that could have gone better" moments, and from your flops.

As I pack up my books and dust the shelves, I think about how particular readings helped me serve different students. As I take down my photos, quotes, and artifacts, the office becomes a little less mine as I get it ready for it’s next owner. As I throw away the papers and items that I held on to for too long and have’t referenced in a while, I remember that I don’t need to hold on to everything as I move on. It’s the lessons, laughter, memories, and the people that I carry with me. Every place I have lived and worked is a part of who I am and has shaped me.