Upping My Self-Care Game

I talk a pretty good self-care game and for the most part I walk my talk. The thing is that it's easier to talk a good game when you're just dealing with your "normal" busyness of life. However, when life throws you some curveballs and taps into your energy source in different ways, your go-to self-care plan may not be enough or, at least, how well you care for yourself needs to be revisited. 

I write this as I sit in the airport in Washington D.C. waiting to board the plane home from my momcation. My "normal" busyness mostly involves juggling my roles of dean, wife, mother and all that comes with that. Yes, there can be some hectic days and emotional days and down right exhausting days, but I've learned to navigate those. It's not always graceful, but it works. 

What I have come to realize is that when life happens unexpectedly, that's when your self-care plan is really tested. You must take the time to evaluate just how well you're taking care of yourself. As someone who often thinks of and tries to take of others, putting myself first when I'm trying to distract myself from my thoughts is not so simple. It's not as easy as watching Hallmark movies with a bowl of popcorn (which I do enjoy).  I realized that I had lapsed in some of my self-care practices that I really needed to employ, such as journaling,keeping up my walks, and playing volleyball. Journaling comes in handy because it always me to put my thoughts and feelings somewhere. Writing has always been a way to help me express myself and process life. Walking gets me moving outside in nature and gives me time to just breathe.Volleyball is just the best sport ever and a great way to get out aggresdion. I'm not saying that I need to abandon my movie watching or an occasional spa treatment or even my momcation. I'm saying that sometimes sitting with one's thoughts is healthier that occupying oneself in order to distract from life's challenges. Actually, the truth is the busyness isn't really a distraction because my worry about my older brother's condition and when he'll regain consciousness never leaves me. When I'm a little extra tired at the day, it's because that worry is always with me. It's not something you can shake off or ignore. So I don't. I chose when I can and can't go there. 

My momcation is about taking care of myself because I step away from the day to day busyness, make my own schedule (or not), and just do me. This year doing me looked like catching up with old friends, spending four hours at the National Museum of African American Heritage and Culture, having afternoon tea with a former student, and being able to sleep diagonally in my king size hotel bed. I didn't distract myself, I just experienced and appreciated where I was and who was with me. I traversed through the city streets in the rain and instead of complaining about my sogginess, took in the beauty of the city, reveled in the fact that it was super cold, laughed at my sogginess, and patted myself on the back for not getting lost. I filled my bucket. 

So what now as I return home? I will write. I will walk. I will connect. I will play. I will take as many hugs from my son as he'll give me. I will cry when I need to. I will laugh. I will make the time to be alone. I will talk about things when I need to talk about things. I will up my self-care game by putting myself first when necessary. Upping my game means being intentional, mindful, and remembering to just breathe.