On this Mother’s Day...

Mother’s Day is one on which we honor our mothers for all that they have done for us - the love, nurturing, sacrifice, opportunities and lessons. Sometimes, we don’t even know the lessons we are learning until much later. From my mother, I learned about the power of one’s voice and strength during times of adversity. My mom has always known what she’s stood for and used her voice as a civil rights activist, as a U.S. civil servant, as a U.S. Foreign Service officer and as a black woman in so many spaces that were, at times, overtly or covertly unwelcoming. She’s never shied away from speaking up and speaking out. She has always been unapologetically herself. She knew she had a responsibility when she was in the room and at the table. She showed strength during times like 9/11 and vulnerable strength during the loss of her parents, her sister and the unexpected health event of her first son (my brother). My mother has shown me how to get back up when you’ve been knocked down.

From her mom, my mom learned strength, the importance of community, the value of education and to not anyone dim your light or make you feel small. My grandmother was not a college graduate, but she was wise, warm and no joke nonetheless.

I am the daughter of Claudia, daughter of Louise. I couldn’t be more proud to stand on the shoulders of so many amazing and strong black women.

"We can't afford to wait for the world to be equal to start feeling seen...You’ve got to find the tools within yourself to start to feel visible and to be heard and to use your voice." - Michelle Obama

Say a prayer...

"Please say a prayer for my dad who has to go to work every day."

I overheard my son say this to his classmates during Sacred Studies class yesterday. It was the first time I had heard my son express concern or a need for support during this global pandemic we are all living through. 

During our shared work and school from home time, we’ve been having lots of conversations. We cover a range of topics from memes to school to Coronavirus. Early on when we talked about COVID-19, he shared that he’s doing alright and not worried about getting gravely ill because of his age. We also talked about missing school and friends. We’ve talked about the economic impact this situation is having on people and families. We’ve talked about the discriminatory way some people have been treating those of Asian heritage. We’ve talked about our family members who work in the health care field and those who are more vulnerable due to age or a medical condition. We had not talked about my husband/his dad going to work each day. 

Throughout this stay at home order, my son has been a trooper. He’s been in good spirts and has been taking it all in stride considering what going on in the world. Or so I thought. I’ve been focused on his transition to virtual fifty grade. I’ve been focused on my school’s and students’ transition to remote learning. I’ve been thinking about all that my students may be navigating and worried about during this time. I had not paused to look beyond my son’s chill and business as usual exterior to see his worry about his dad getting sick because he leaves the home for work each day. I know this worry does’t consume my son, but it’s there and it’s real. While there is so much related to this global pandemic that I can not control, we are doing our part to stay safe and I will be wrapping my arms around my little one much more often. 

Our New Normal

This global health crisis we are all watching unfold still feels a bit surreal. Friends and family in different states and in different countries spending day in and day out at home. This is not a reality I ever wanted to see or experience, but here we are. I find myself having to shut off the news so that I’m not inundated with the everything. For the most part, I am doing the best I can to navigate the day with work and my son’s homeschooling (he’s been a real trooper so far; we’ll see how we do when the cabin fever really sets in). Every now and then moments of worry wash over me. I know I’m not alone in this. Right now, everyone is worried about someone’s health, job or livelihood. I’ve had friends laid off and those whose businesses have suffered a big hit. I have family members in the health care field. My parents are of a vulnerable age and my eldest brother is in a hospice. Then there are the students, families and colleagues who are navigating all of this too. It can become a lot if we don’t temper our information intake, compartmentalize when necessary, practice self-care and identify the positives within our days.

It’s times like these when you have find the good and there is a lot out there. Examples of kindness and generosity between neighbors or strangers. We’ve seen virtual dance parties, workouts and performance. We’ve seen people rally to create birthday caravans for a child whose birthday party had to be canceled. We’ve seen the selflessness of our health care professionals who are on the front lines. We’ve also seen the true dedication of educators committed to educating and caring for their students. This is community.

Moving to a new city far away from family and friends has made this time a bit more difficult since I’m still trying to build community and find my people. Luckily, I’ve moved enough in my life to that that just takes time (lessons learned from the foreign service brat life). However, in these few short (but long feeling) weeks of social distancing, I’ve done some reframing. We’ve been asked to keep our physical distance, but social connection is still important. Thank goodness for phones, Face Time and other technology. I’ve been able to Zoom chat with nine of my college friends at the same time, FaceTime with a longtime friend in the northeast, and What’s App video chat with two friends - one in Haiti and one in Canada; the last time the three of us were together was in Port Au Prince in seventh grade. People come together in times of hardship and uncertainty.

This time is also for familial connection and introspection. In the past week and change, I’ve dusted off my journal, started a puzzle, read, gotten out my adult coloring book and taken walks with my son. The online home workouts have been fun and served as PE in my son’s school schedule (Thanks Planet Fitness and Yoga with Adrienne). They also reminded just how out of shape I am. I’ve tuned in to a couple of IG dance parties (shout out to DJ D-Nice and DJ Quiana Parks), danced with the real Debbie Allen, and evening popped in to do an evening mediation led by an alum of my high school. People’s generosity of spirit and time has been inspiring. As we navigate our ways through this, I hope that the positives of each day and the kindness we extend to each other continues. May you be well and stay healthy. We are all in this together and if you need/want to chat I’m just a phone call or video chat away.  The way through is by leaning on each other, finding bright spots in each day, staying connected (while physically distant) and by not being too hard on ourselves. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. We will all have those moments. Just remember to look for the good and make time to laugh.

Finally, a friend me sent this image that has also been circulating around social media recently. While I often take these things with a grain of salt, I figure why not engage. In taking a quick moment to scan for the first three words, it apparently revealed what I'll need for the upcoming weeks: Gratitude. Connection. Strength. 

#OneWord 2020

When I started this year’s #oneword process, I brainstormed until I found myself stuck between three words. With this being my fourth year speaking my #oneword into the universe, I thought it would be much easier to figure out my word. It wasn’t. At one point, I considered going with three words instead one. My past words have been:

2017 Patience

2018 Encourage

2019 Believe

As I kept reflecting on my three words - Joy. Lift. Moments - I realized that they were all connected. With the whole of 2020 and 365 days of possibilities ahead of me, my #oneword is MOMENTS.

In the year ahead, I want to experience lots of moments of joy on my own, with my family, alongside friends, and at work. I also want to help create moments of joy for others and hope to have some created for me. More experiences, more memories and more appreciation of the small or simpler things. 

In the year ahead, I want to make sure that I not only focus on the ways in which I need to invest in myself (mind, body and spirit), but also focus on the ways in which I can invest in and I can lift up others. I want to be intentional about lifting others’ spirits, lifting their confidence, and lifting and supporting others on their professional journeys.

So my year is not about resolutions, it’s about moments. Perhaps those moments will be time spent nurturing friendships, hanging out with family, performing acts of kindness, working with a leadership coach, submitting a conference workshop proposal or two, volunteering, walking more in the sunshine, reading on the beach, learning how to do something new, connecting, laughing and living my best 2020. So, here’s to all the MOMENTS ahead. 

Goodbye 2010s, Hello 2020!

During my 2009 to 2019 chapter, I ...

💥Began my wild parenthood ride without a map or instruction manual 

💥Started and finished my Masters degree

💥Lived in Virginia, Connecticut and Florida

💥Traveled to Mexico, Canada, South Africa, Hong Kong, Dominican Republic and knocked a few more states off my list

💥Presented at a conference 

💥Started a blog

💥Became a homeowner again

💥Braved various snow events and my almost first hurricane 

💥Watched my Virginia Cavaliers win a National Basketball Championship and saw them compete in the Orange Bowl

💥Journeyed from Assistant Dean of Students to Principal 

💥Suffered loss of family and of friendships

💥Have been disappointed, failed, stayed silent when I shouldn’t have and battled self doubt personally and professionally

💥Had wonderful moments of joy, enjoyed some successes, stood for something, spoke up for others, welcomed new friendships and deepened others, built community, and recognized my strength in hard times 

💥Have been brave, courageous and vulnerable 

💥Spoke my truth (on more than one occasion)

💥Have an even stronger sense of self, don’t let others define me, know that I add value to this world 

💥Loved, learned and laughed

Thanks for the memories and lessons. Here’s to whatever 2020 has in store!

"Thanks"giving 2019

When I was in high school we had assembly at which the students shared what they were grateful for, which ranged from a favorite TV show to a supportive faculty member to loved ones lost. Each year I continue that tradition by reflecting on the past year and sharing my thanks as a blog post. And with that, here is my "thanks"giving for 2019.

I am thankful for this year that's been full of transition and change. Change is not always easy, nor is being far from family and friends, but I am settling into my new home and new job. I know I will find and build community here too.

I am thankful for warm weather, palm trees and covered patios.

I am thankful for my husband and son who are on this adventure ride with me. They’ve been troopers as we embrace this new chapter together. I am so grateful for my husband who was willing to following my job change and handled most things during the transition (inc. cooking, school drop off/pick up, play date shuttling, etc.). I'm looking forward to us exploring our new home city and uncovering all the surprises it has in store for us.

I am thankful for these past ten years during which I have been able to see my son grow and come into his own. He’s curious, active, and, at times, funny. I love seeing him navigate all that has been thrown at him and his willing to try new things is inspiring. He’s a pretty cool kid and I’m grateful that he still likes hanging out with his mom.

I am thankful for my parents, brothers and sister. Thank you for putting up with me and for accepting me for me.  Thank you for all the memories, fun and stories over the years. I am so lucky to have been born into our formidable Anyaso crew with deep Rawles roots and influences.

I am thankful for my Aunt Shelly who I miss tremendously. So full of life, love and generosity. I am a better person for having had you in my life.

I am thankful for all the people who have believed in and taken a chance on me. I've been blessed with awesome mentors and colleagues along the way. Because of you I have had a very fulfilling educational and professional journey.

I am thankful for my students - past and present. I have learned so much from you over the years. It’s such a privilege to see you grow, face adversity, thrive and come into you own. You have not only helped me become a better educator, but also a better person. Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey.

I'm thankful for every experience that I have had to date - the small victories and the "ugh" failures (aka learning opportunities). Some were joyful, some were challenging and others were downright embarrassing. Regardless, I learned something from each and every one of them. They helped shape who I am today.

I am thankful for all my friends - past, present and future. Whether we are still in touch or not, I am grateful for you being a part of my life for a moment, a season or for a lifetime. Thank you for being there when I needed to talk, laugh, cry or just be. Also, big thanks to those of you (and your families) who took me in for a holiday. I appreciate you welcoming me into your homes.

I am thankful for those little things in life that make us happy and are good for the soul. So in that vein, I am thankful for English Breakfast tea, gummy bears, Hallmark and Lifetime holiday movies (especially the ones that make me shed a tear or two), books, volleyball, pizza, Maryland steamed blue crabs, logic puzzles, comfy clothes, the spa, momcations, going to the movies, and reading and snuggling with my little guy.

I am thankful for each day I have and for all the things I have yet to experience.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Starting a New Chapter

When you haven’t been new for a while, you almost forget what it feels like to be the new kid. You’ve been comfortable knowing your way around, understanding how things get done and the why behind it, and knowing people’s names. You had it down and even knew what to do when over the course of the year, but things have changed. You are back to being the newbie. What a nervously exciting time.

Starting over requires patience, mainly with oneself. You must take things one day at a time, ask lots of questions, and trust that you will begin to make sense of it all at some point. It’s also important to remember that no one expects you to know it all from the beginning, including mastering several hundred names. It just takes time.

So, this is what I am reminding myself as I enter the third week of school and the third month on the job. Being new is not easy. You miss knowing how things work, familiar routines, and familiar faces. You miss understanding the people around you. You don’t know what to expect because you haven’t lived a full year in your new surroundings or job, but it’s okay. Soon enough I’ll have experienced my first of many events and traditions rendering them no longer unknown entities to me.

While being new is not a cake walk, it is something I have done quite a bit in my life. I guess you could say that I am pretty comfortable being uncomfortable navigating new places, people, and situations. So, here’s to patience, time, a few missteps, and that moment when you realize you’re no longer the new kid (and can’t use that excuse anymore).